


Dissolution

by vjs2259



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-01
Updated: 2008-07-01
Packaged: 2017-12-10 01:33:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/780231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vjs2259/pseuds/vjs2259
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gapfiller for S5 Learning Curve. My first attempt at an explanation for the 'first wife problem'. Written in 2008, never posted until now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dissolution

 

_"What did she mean by that, John?"_

 

The question rang in his ears, and he winced visibly. Fortunately he wasn't facing her at the time, which gave him a few seconds to absorb the realization that he was in for a difficult conversation with his much loved wife. They had been married for five months now, a little longer than his first marriage had lasted. That past relationship was what he now had to explain.

 

There had been several times in the past few months that he’d started to bring it up; but something always seemed to intervene. Between assassination attempts, rogue telepaths, and herding together an Alliance that seemed bent on disintegration, they had both been busy. Now it was going to be hard to explain why he hadn’t told her straight away.

 

“ _The new commander will be this Captain Lochley then?”_

“ _Yes. You know a military person has be in charge, and it’s best if it’s someone who was on the other side in the war. I picked her from the list President Lushenko sent me. She had culled it down from the names submitted to her by EarthForce command.”_

“ _Did you have some particular reason to choose her?”_

“ _I…knew her. We were at the Academy together. We were friends.”_

_  
“You trust her then.”_

“ _I do.”_

“ _Then that is reason enough.”_

 

Why hadn’t he just said it at the time? “I wasn’t just her friend; I was her husband, though not for very long.” It sounded terrible, for one thing, and for another, it brought back memories. He’d put most of them behind him, but others still remained.

 

“ _John, we can’t go on like this. We’re driving each other crazy. If we don’t do something, we’re going to end up hating each other, if not killing each other!”_

“ _Are you saying you want a divorce, Liz, is that it? Give up after only a few months?”_

“ _It was a mistake! You know it, and I know it. We were madly in love for a few weeks, then got married on an impulse. We never really got to know one another. There was no real basis for a marriage.”_

“ _I still think we could make a go of it, Liz. We have a lot in common…”_

_  
“Too much in common. We’re too alike. Sometimes that works well, but we’re just constantly fighting each other for the upper hand. I think we both need to be in charge, and that can’t work, not in a marriage.”_

“ _I thought the idea was to be partners, equals.”_

“ _That’s the idea, but that’s not what we’ve got. I want out, John. I really think it’s for the best. Let’s quit while I still like you. Hell, I still love you, but it’s just not enough.”_

“ _If that’s what you want.”_

 

The failure of his marriage had affected him deeply. It had taken him a long time to trust himself in a serious relationship again. He’d dated women, and had plenty of female friends, but there hadn’t been anyone that got in close, not until he’d met Anna. His sister had brought her home for the holidays one year, and they’d hit it off instantly. He’d taken his time, getting to know her well, before he’d asked her to marry him. He hadn’t even had to tell her about Elizabeth; she’d been the one to ask him what happened. Lizzie had already told her about his short-lived first marriage.

 

“ _Was it a messy divorce? Is that why you don’t talk about it?_

“ _The divorce was the easy part. We liked and respected each other, agreed it was over,, and there were precious few possessions to divvy up. We were both just out of the Academy, awaiting our first postings, when we ended it.”_

“ _So what was the problem?”_

“ _The problem wasn’t the divorce; it was the annulment.”_

 

Elizabeth was Catholic. She wasn’t particularly observant, not when he knew her, but it was still an important part of her upbringing and the basis of her moral code. When they’d set the divorce proceedings in motion, not a difficult process when both sides agreed, he hadn’t considered completely what it might mean to her.

 

“ _I’m fine with it, John. You know I don’t even go to church these days. I only asked Father Michael to perform the ceremony because I knew him so well. His church was the closest one to the Academy.”_

“ _The thing is, I don’t want you to feel later like you aren’t free to re-marry, in the church or out of it. Are you sure there isn’t something more we can do? I can’t move on from this, if you aren’t able to as well.”_

“ _We could…I suppose we could file for an annulment.”_

 

It hadn’t been fair, the whole process. In the eyes of her church, she was married to him for life, while he was free to divorce, re-marry, whatever. While she maintained that her church’s attitudes towards divorce didn’t bother her; he was concerned that in the future she might feel differently. Her faith was important to her, underneath it all. So they applied for an annulment. The discussion of the grounds had been painful, bringing up a subject they’d discussed before the wedding, and he’d hoped they’d put behind them. Before he’d asked her to marry him, he’d told her upfront that it was unlikely he could ever have children of his own. As a teenager, he’d contracted Walther’s Disease. It was rare to see it on Earth anymore, but he’d been visiting his father at an off-world posting when he’d come down with the fever. The doctors had been definite; the disease had rendered him effectively sterile. Luckily Elizabeth hadn’t wanted children at the time, and certainly not until she’d had a chance to establish her career in EarthForce. It hadn’t been an issue with her, but it proved convenient, if highly embarrassing, when it came time to justify their petition to the church. He just had to tell them that he’d never told her about it; that he’d lied to her. That was the part he’d been afraid to tell Anna.

 

“ _It’s all right, John. You did the right thing. It was a white lie at worst. If it made Elizabeth feel better about the break-up, what’s the harm?”_

“ _How do you always know the right thing to say?”_

“ _I don’t! Let’s not worry any more about this. I have no problem with adoption. Later, when one or both of us is ready to settle down back on Earth, we’ll start our family. There are always children wanting homes, and any child would be lucky to have you as a father.”_

“ _And you as a mother.”_

 

The conversation with Anna had been awkward, but she had a way of putting him at ease from the first. It was one of the reasons he’d loved her so much. He could talk about anything with her.

Then there was Delenn.

 

“ _John, there is something I need to ask you.”_

“ _What is it?”_

“ _Have you ever thought about the possibility of our having children?”_

 

His heart had sunk at her question. Delenn had gone on to explain, with painful hesitancy, that the Minbari were experiencing a decline in fertility, and an even more appalling decline in successful pregnancies. Children had become even more important in their culture than they had been previously, and it was expected that bonded couples would make every good faith effort to procreate. She wanted to go to Dr. Franklin and determine whether it was possible that they could have a child: his child.

They’d never discussed it; he’d assumed that her hybrid physiology would make it difficult, if not impossible. So, it had never come up. To be honest, he’d avoided bringing it up. They were married, and he hadn’t told her; not about Elizabeth, not about the dissolution of his first marriage, not about the reasons they had been granted an annulment.

 

“ _You have to tell her!”_

“ _Stephen, just run the tests. If, as you guess, it’s not possible anyway, she doesn’t need to know. There are other factors involved here, things you don’t understand.”_

“ _I know that you’re starting your marriage with a lie. That can’t be good.”_

“ _I ended a marriage with one before. Look, we’ve both got secrets; there are places we just don’t go. I’d rather not discuss this with her if it’s not necessary!”_

“ _I still think you’re making a mistake. What if she finds out?”_

“ _I’ll deal with that later.”_

 

He’d never told Delenn all he remembered of the vision of the future he’d had during their expedition to steal Babylon 4. He’d been lost in time, and traveled, somehow, to Centauri Prime. The encounter with the Delenn of the future had shaken him to the core. He had never forgotten three things she said; that she loved him, that he shouldn't go to Z’ha’dum, and that they had a son. He’d never known what to think about that last statement: they had a child, by adoption perhaps, or some innovation in technology, or perhaps it would never really happen. Were those images of the actual future, or a possible future? Stephen’s tests had shown him that it was not going to be a child of their own. Their DNA was just not compatible enough for it to work. Delenn had accepted it, although her disappointment was clear. He tried hard not to mind. He certainly wasn’t going to burden her with his suspect foreknowledge, or his own personal issues. She had enough to worry about.

 

Now he had to explain it all; his abortive first marriage, the grounds for the annulment, and why Elizabeth Lochley had his complete trust. Liz had never spoken one word about the reasons for their divorce, or why she had asked for and been granted an annulment. Their marriage had been so brief, and unknown outside their families, that there hadn’t been many questions. There had been a few opportunities for her to discredit him in various ways, but she had never taken them. Integrity was a quality she had in spades. It was the one link between all the women he’d loved; that mix of fire and steel that attracted him to each of them.

 

“ _I am going to pretend that you were going to tell me this sooner or later.”_

“ _I was just…looking for the right time.”_

“ _Ten seconds after you thought of it would have been good.”_

“ _Yeah…maybe so. You all right?”_

“ _I think so. It will just…take some getting used to.”_

 

 

Epilogue:

 

A few months later, Stephen Franklin had an idea. He ran the scans from President Sheridan’s latest medical check, looking for one thing in particular. Lorien’s gift had shown itself in a pattern of bio-energy that seemed to be sustaining the President’s life functions. It showed up along his neurological system mostly, but other places as well, rebuilding tissues, restoring connections as they degraded, repairing cells. It had occurred to him that it might be repairing old damage as well as more recent trauma. As he examined the results of the computer analysis, he let out a low whistle. It was still a 100:1 shot, but there was one major obstacle out of the way. He saw no reason to let President Sheridan know immediately. It wouldn’t make any practical difference. He jotted a note in Sheridan’s medical file. Sooner or later the right time would come to tell him.

 


End file.
